You might think you are immune to online scams, but the scammers are getting really good at impersonating people who “just want love.” After reviewing over 50 romance scam cases with victims who have lost up to half a million dollars, I noticed they all follow the same patterns. Not all of these warning signs mean you are being scammed, but if you recognize two or more of these signs in any kind of online relationship, or if your online “friend” asks for money, immediately block them and notify the authorities.
- If someone you don’t know contacts you first, and showers you with compliments.
- If their profile pic has a dog, child, or them in military uniform. This is to immediately create empathy.
- They are a widow or widower. Another common ploy to create empathy.
- They are a celebrity or famous person you admire. A celebrity will NEVER contact you over messaging.
- They are 10 or more years younger than you. I know this seems ageist, but it’s to flatter you that someone so young and good looking could be attracted to you.
- They work overseas, “offshore” or on an oil rig. It’s an excuse not to meet in person.
- They never video chat. They can’t video chat because they are not the person in the pictures they’re sending you.
- They experience a tragedy – your “love” will start experiencing horrific tragedies. They’ll have a bad car accident, work accident, or suddenly can’t get their products through customs. They will “suddenly lose access” to their bank account and need to borrow money to cover these bills.
- If they ask for ANY money – even a small amount to get lunch. Your scammer could be balancing over 100 victims at any given point. $10 from 100 victims = $1000/day. They might even pay you back the first couple of times to get you to trust them. And then they start asking for more. They will ask you to send Cash, Bitcoin (cryptocurrency), or Gift Cards because those are not traceable. Many will ask you to invest in crypto or a stock portfolio. RUN.
- If they ask you to ACCEPT money for them and mail it on or drop it off somewhere. This includes you in the scam, and when you figure out it’s illegal they’ll say “well, you did it too so you can’t report it.” You can and should report it, you will not get in trouble.
- If they ask if you’ve eaten today, or if you’ve slept well. This is to make you feel cared for and loved.
- If they say they love you quickly, call you “my love,” “my queen/king,” “babe” “honey.” It’s all very nice to hear, but it’s not real. They are coersing you to have feelings for them.
- If they say they want to marry you very quickly or want to purchase a home together. This feeds into the romance fantasy. They will even ask you to start looking at real estate, investments or homes.
- If they try to separate you emotionally or physically from friends, family, or your spouse. They don’t want anyone around you who could objectively recognize that it’s a scam.
Again, these all seem like common-sense warnings, however many people over 50 get caught up in the fantasy of everlasting love. If you need a second opinion, always check with friends and family. If you are suspicious about an online relationship, don’t hestitate to contact me. I can help you search if an “online love” is real or fake.
Other Resources:
Research an online person – image search, emails, names
Department of Homeland Security on Romance Scams
– Jennifer Moss, Moss Web Works